"I AM NOT BORN IN AFRICA BUT AFRICA IS BORN IN ME"

Two years ago I received an award to an all expenses paid trip to Edinburgh Scotland. I had never been so happy in my life because the award gave me a chance to travel by flight for the first time to a completely different continent.

So off I took my flight from Botswana to South Africa ( Johannesburg OR TAMBO Airport), to Doha Qatar then finally Scotland. 

Two Days  in Scotland I was already homesick and missing Africa,  so lets be real here and am talking to every one who has left the continent for a while either to work or further there studies no continent or place in the world can replace Africa. 

there is something beautiful about being African despite the fact that the western media portrays wars and unrest in the continent with sick thin children suffering of Hunger but truth of the matter is that Africa is a beautiful continent on its own. 

I missed going to a typical street African market with vendors shouting and fighting for customers 

I missed seeing women who would group together under the shade of tree and make money by plaiting other women's hair.

I missed speaking my language Tswana and not having to bite my tongue with the queens language

I generally missed everything African with it .........I know sometimes it is often said Africa is the most unrest and politically unstable continent but fact of the matter is you cannot take away the beauty of the continent.  

Just ask the Americans and they will tell you why they cross oceans to come and just camp in the wild to see the big five and that's because the continent offers you mother nature and its best.

Have you ever went far away and missed Africa... what did you miss ? 

              RAPE IS A BITCH 

 I am saddened, outraged, angry at the many times I have to hear a report about a woman or girl who has been raped and brutally murdered. 

The world we live in is not safe for us women, I cant go out at night or worse during the day and not stop to think that I many be abducted, raped and worse of all murdered. 

My heart bleeds for all the women all over the world whose innocence has been robbed by rape or any form of violence. 

As women we are told do not walk at night, do not wear that short skirt , do not go out partying at night or else you will be raped. We living at a time were we are told dont do that or do that to avoid being raped but truth of the matter is that even if she had to wear a long dress or stay at home the whole day, a woman is still prone to getting raped and murdered . THE TRUE FACT IS WE ARE NOT SAFE ANY MORE AND WE HAVE NEVER BEEN SAFE.

Many cases go unreported, many victims have to deal with a justice system that lets the perpetrator walk free. That one actual victim who decides to step up and be a voice for other voiceless women out there ends up being ridiculed. She is subjected to humiliation and she is judged and then has to bear through rape culture. 

what should we do ? when will all this stop? How long will it go on? 

My heart just continues to bleed and it will never stop bleeding for all the women we have lost due to rape and for those who are still alive and there innocence was stolen.      

  

DEAR BLACK SISTERS 

"We must learn how to celebrate our small wins. 
Everyday we wake up to achieving our goals but yet  we forget one simple thing. 
We have to learn how to cultivate a sense of celebrating our little wins that will eventually one day turn into big and bigger achievements" 

SHE LIVES WITH THE ANGELS


"As the little birdie rises in the morning
she soars higher
higher above the mountain
higher above the ocean
but at night time
she lays down
she rest
rests among the angels in heaven"

REST IN PEACE TONI MORRISON

Award Winning Author Toni Morrison
pic: Grandin media

MY  BLACK SISTERS WE CONTINUE TO BE THE HISTORY MAKERS

Today I look back at the strength of the African- American woman, I meditate on some of the richest poems that have been offered to us by our black sisters in the other part of the world.

When I was a freshmen at University I was introduced to a poem by Maya Angelou "still I Rise."  
It was during a literature class that I was chosen  by the lecturer to read and analyse the poem.
The powerful piece shaped my life as young black woman.
It shaped my struggles and achievements and I continue to picture myself standing right next to Maya with my African curves boldly swinging with sassiness as I  narrate the piece of art.

Dear Black Sisters 
if you haven't seen or read still I rise by Maya, then I argue you to go thorough it now!!!

But over the years I have searched deeply for other poems written for the Black woman by the Black woman, poems that describe her struggle, poems that depict her and the strength she endures. So I have randomly  picked one over the hundreds I have seen

My Black Triangle by Grace Nichols

picture @ beautiful black art

My black triangle

sandwiched between the geography of my thighs

Is a Bermuda
of tiny atoms
forever seizing
and releasing
the world

My black triangle
is so rich
that it flows over
on to the dry crotch
of the world

My black triangle
is black light
sitting on the threshold
of the world

Overlooking deep-pink
probabilities

and though
it spares a thought
for history
my black triangle
has spread beyond his story
beyond the dry fears of parch-ri-archy

spreading and growing
trusting and flowering
my black triangle
carries the seal of approval
of my deepest self

In this poem Grace Nichols empowers the female body of the Black woman and I like the way she speaks through a sense of empowerment to the Black woman..

PERIOD SHAME: DEAR AFRICAN GIRL CHILD WHY WERE WE TAUGHT TO HIDE OUR PERIODS? 

Last week I posted a childhood memory concerning  my first time experience of menstruation and the funny mini tutorial I got on how to use a tampon  ( which obviously did not go well) .

But today the menstruation or period topic made me reflect on something serious, an issue that is off concern to many girls and women in Africa. Have you ever heard of anything such as period shame?

After reading an article titled Period shame, misinformation linked to serious human rights written by the United Nations populations fund, the article got me doing some serious thinking about Period shame. 

What exactly is period shame? 

According to UNFPA  period shame is stigma and misinformation surrounding menstruation which contributes to serious human rights concerns for women and girls

pic @ MuslimGirlLife

As an African woman I have been privileged enough not to through "period shame" I have not endured any cultural taboos or religious taboos associated with being on my period.  

But what about the African girl child who is not allowed to touch water or cook, attend religious ceremonies, or engage in community activities just because she is in her period? It is very absurd that women or girls are considered unclean when having there periods. Such taboos promote gender based discrimination and eliminate girls and women from the society they live in. 

Dear African Girl child why were we taught to hide our periods? the answer is simple and its because  periods have always been regarded unclean. 

If periods are regarded unclean then why were women created to have periods? 

I remember a personal story my cousin narrated to me, it happened that my cousin was brushing our grandma's hair and my cousin secretly told granny that she had started her period for the first time, my grandmother immediately took the hair brush from my cousin and told her that it is a taboo for a girl in her period to comb or touch another women's hair as this could lead to permanent hair loss. 

"In many communities – the onset of menstruation – is associated with readiness for marriage. Child marriage increases the risk of adolescent pregnancy and other outcomes that undermine girls’ human rights."  UNFPA

pic @the fertile chick

Letter to the African girl child

Dear African Girl Child

LISTEN TO ME LOUD AND CLEAR, NEVER EVER BE ASHAMED OF BEING IN YOUR PERIOD. 

Your period is the most beautiful girl/woman experience you have been gifted with.

Love and Value it forever 

You do not need to explain yourself to any men, to any cultural practice or any religious practice for being on your period  

LOVE YOURSELF AFRICAN GIRL CHILD

for more information on period shaming read: 

https://www.unfpa.org/news/period-shame-misinformation-linked-serious-human-rights-concerns

 Girl open up you legs: Stick it in your vagina- The Tampon story 

Girl using a tampon

Today I reminisce on a funny horror story that dates back from my childhood experience. This story I have kept as a secret for many years, but through time I realized maybe its worth sharing.

When I was twelve years I encountered my first menstruation cycle. Personally the experience did not delight me. Although I knew eventually I would reach puberty and start menstruating, to be honest I was not ready for such a change.

The excruciating period pains & use of sanitary pads made the experience intolerable, but fortunately as I matured into a young woman I got accustomed to the bleeding and developed my own ways of handing it.

I vividly remember the boys lecture my mother gave me. At twelve years my mother had labelled me as a young woman ( which I found awkward)  but nonetheless she was determined to advice me on "boys."  In a stern voice she said

"you are woman now, dont you dare open those legs for any boy or else you get a baby and I ain't supporting any baby that you  bring on this earth especially when you are still young!!!"

Melissa was the first to introduce me to a tampon. She as one of my circle of friends was more knowledgeable in almost everything, any topic you wanted to learn about Melissa was the go-to-girl. 

In Melissa's bedroom I had my mini-tutorial on how to use a tampon. Imagine a twelve year old instructing another twelve year old how to use a tampon ( well kind of a recipe for disaster) With Melissa I took of my panties and she said, " Girl open up your legs and I will stick it right into the vagina." 

The horror of being told to open up my legs wide enough to insert a tube like foreign object made me cringe. I stormed out of Melissa's bedroom naked, crying and by the hall way I bumped into Melissa's father who looked at me in shock. I guess in his mind he was wondering why a  twelve year old is running naked in his house. Once in a while and look back at this experience which brought out a streak of sadness but later the pain turned into a joyful memory.

Note: so let me set the record straight- I legit have no problem with tampons and would never shun any woman or girl for using them but just like any other person I have my own preferences and I simply prefer sanitary pads. 

For men out there thinking what exactly is a tampon, well read the link below for useful information

https://tampax.com/en-us/tips-and-advice/my-first-tampon/what-are-tampons